Favorite Photo Friday

After a week at staff retreat, it's already time for Favorite Photo Friday again. Which just reminds me that I took 0 (zero) pictures this week.

Taken 30Sept07 with Canon SD400 in Seattle, WA (Safeco Field)

I melt when I look at this picture because it combines some of my favorite things: Seattle, baseball, Safeco Field, and River. I love that Riv laughs at me a lot. River is one of my "nephews." In other words, we are not related by blood, but we are related by heart. His mom and dad really are my sister and brother. I see him and his younger brother Truss about once a week and I get to see them tonight. I'm so excited. A few weeks ago, we had a "mom's dinner" - when Jamie and I have dinner with both of our moms. At some point, Jamie's mom asked River if he liked it when Becky came to visit. He said, "Yeah, it makes me feel good inside." If that doesn't melt my heart, nothing will. I would do anything for any of my nephews.

Oh, and... The Mariners won this, the last game of the season 4-2. Felix pitched a brilliant game giving up 4 hits in 8.2 innings. AND, the game was over in less than two hours which means Jamie was happy and I had hope for next season (which was violently squashed this past April).

River will be three years old in one month. If you say anything in his presence about baseball or the Mariners, he will loudly declare, "Ken Griffey Jr. is the best Mariner ever!" just because he knows it will elicit a high five and loads of verbal commendation from me. I have taught him well.

Favorite Photo Friday

Since I would like to both write and take pictures more, this blog can truly be my creative outlet, right? Hence, I'm installing Favorite Photo Friday in hopes that it motivates me to take more pictures. For now, I'll have to rely on my backstock in iphoto. All pictures will be those that I have taken and happen to like for whatever reason - subject, composition, memories...
Behold, a sunrise in the Dominican Republic:


Taken 28March2008 with Canon SD400 in Barahona, D.R.

There's actually a picture I like better than this one of the DR Sunrise at Ponte Vedra Hotel, but it was taken several years ago so it's not on this computer; this one will have to work. I love the sunrise - just like I love the fall - because it's got so much potential and such a feeling of newness. This picture doesn't even do the DR sunrises justice, but it will do for now.

In Search of Reflection without Narcissism

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates, right?

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately - how much (meaning how often, not how highly) are we really to think about ourselves? I mean, I know what Socrates meant; if we are simply drones moving through life without thinking and reflecting, there is no point. Yet, what if examining our lives becomes the point? That seems infinitely worse. I'm certain that a life constantly reflected upon becomes terrifyingly paralyzing.

Why these thoughts lately?
#1 - Foster. Of course, his Prayer book is what first got me contemplating this delicate balance. The first section of his book is dedicated to the "movement inward." And the other day I read his chapter on the Prayer of Examen. I finished the chapter acutely aware of the tension we live in to examen our lives and yet not be narcissistic.
#2 - An entry in a friend's blog. The prayer, "God, distract me from myself" is a profound one that resonates with us all. It's so important not to simply swim in our own thoughts. Sometimes I think that the e-mail, facebook, and yes, even blogs of this society are the biggest culprits that cause us to think about ourselves more than we need to - perhaps more than is healthy.
#3 - The topic at the INN was submission. Submitting to one another - getting underneath each other to lift each other up - is the key to strong relationships. My thought on the way home: "As long as we're thinking about ourselves, we can't submit."
#4 - As I've said and insinuated above, my biggest fear with this blog is that it will cause me to put myself at the center of my life. Recently, I would say I've erred in the other direction - not taking time to reflect. That was a motivating factor to start writing. I certainly want to be cautious of the dangers of too much self-reflection.

I've heard Ryan suggest many times to people who find themselves feeling down to "do something nice for someone else." It's not so profound, really. Basically, "Stop thinking about yourself" or, in the words of the prayer above, allow God to "distract you from yourself."

Where is the balance? I think Foster's words are wise in this. When we move inward, when we search our inner thoughts, we must invite the Lord on the journey. God dwells in us, so self-reflection can lead us to the truth and genuine self-knowledge of who we are and our place in serving our community. It's no coincidence that Jesus put these two side-by-side right after encouraging us to love God: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Don't ignore yourself and try to love your neighbor, but don't turn completely inward, endlessly dissecting your own thoughts.

If only it were as easy to do as it is to say.

Confessions of a Non-Runner Runner

I have always hated running unless I was either (a) chasing a ball or (b) being chased. The only motivation I had for running in high school were the coaches who would just make me do more of the loathed activity if I didn't complete the first round. So I ran to avoid running.

Sure, I tried to "go for a run" every once in a while with Jamie (who is what you might call a "runner"), but it never caught on. Some people talk about how great it is to pray while they run or how it clears their mind or allows them to think about their day, prepare a talk, or engage other productive thoughts. My mind on the other hand always thought about the same thing: "You're tired. Why are you doing this? You know, you're running for no reason. There is no one chasing you and you're not late for anything. Why don't you just walk, Self?" At which time I would give into these thoughts and walk back home for some ice cream to congratulate myself for getting out of the house.

So, this morning as I ran a short run, I thought about how odd it is that I have picked up running over the past year as a hobby. Ok, let's be honest; What I've picked up is jogging. But, I did participate in a marathon relay (pictured - and well worth it because I ran 5 miles and got a t-shirt & a medal that said I completed a marathon.) AND, I managed to complete a half marathon. Don't get me wrong, I still hate the part about working when I don't have to, but I've learned to do it anyway.

Here's how:
1) I'm lazy. That's right, I run because I'm lazy. Running is the fastest, easiest way to stay in shape, so I don't have to buy any equipment except shoes and I don't have to think of other, more creative ways to remain relatively healthy.

2) NPR. I'm pretty sure most people assume that I'm listening to "pump-you-up music" like Michael Phelps through my telltale white ear phones. Well, I hate to disappoint, but 75% of the time, it's an NPR podcast. (And of the remaining 25%, probably 1/2 of the time I'm listening to a sermon. So, Kanye and friends only make it through less than 15% of the time). "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" is a great way to get the news of the week AND get a good laugh. Plus, there's the added benefit of the weird look from strangers as you laugh out loud while you run past them. Just a few Paula Poundstone and Peter Sagal mockeries of our president later, and you've almost run a mile without thinking about how hard it is to breathe. Another good one for word nerds like me is the "Sunday Puzzle." Not only do you get to listen to the soothing voice of Will Shortz, but while your mind tries to figure out how you can rearrange the letters in "egomaniac" to "spell a familiar sign seen in many stores," you're logging miles and not the least bit worried about the fact that your legs feel like jell-o when you're at least 20 minutes from home.

3) Trash Talk. Anyone and Everyone. This morning, it worked to trash talk myself: "One mile down - and in just over 10 minutes. That's not terrible. Wait a second, Self. Isn't a mile pretty close to the 1500m you watched Lagat run in about 3 and a half minutes yesterday? That's right, it only took you three times as long. Now stop thinking about how you want to walk!" Perhaps it's the voice of my high school coaches in my head, but it does no good to argue that comparing a part-time jogger to an Olympic-trained athlete makes no sense. Hey, if it motivates me, I'm not going to worry about logic. You can also trash talk the neighbors: "I wonder if they meant for their front lawn to look like a staging ground for landfill?" (I told you my thoughts weren't productive. They're not always uplifting either.)

4) Sprint the last part. Not only will all of your neighbors think you ran that fast the whole time and be impressed, you will convince yourself you ran that fast the whole time, too. Plus, it adds to the out-of-breath factor, which tricks your brain into thinking you're a runner instead of a jogger.

5) Goals. The bottom line is, I would not get out of bed if I didn't have a race or something that I "had" to prepare for. "If you don't run the 3 miles today, you won't be able to run the 5 miles this weekend and then that $70 you paid to run with 5,000 other people will REALLY be wasted." Plus, if you enter a race, they give you a really comfy shirt for "free."

So, I hope that helps someone out there who hates running. If you are one of those people who LOVES to run and can't get enough of it and is going to tell me that if I just run far enough or long enough, I will experience one of those "runner's highs," I don't want to hear about it. Thanks for playing, but if you keep talking about that, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

Cake Wrecks - Try Not to Stare

Whelp, it's already a good day. Pretty sure I found my new favorite website.

Neutrality

I would like to offer one more counsel to those who find themselves devoid of the presence of God. It is this: wait on God. Wait, silent and still. Wait, attentive and responsive. Learn that trust precedes faith. Faith is a little like putting your car into gear, and right now you cannot exercise faith, you cannot move forward. Do not berate yourself for this. But when you are unable to put your spiritual life into drive, do not put it into reverse; put it into neutral. Trust is how you put your spiritual life in neutral. Trust is confidence in the character of God. Firmly and deliberately you say, "I do not understand what God is doing or even where God is, but I know that he is out to do me good." This is trust. This is how to wait.
-Richard Foster, Prayer (24)

I love that Foster acknowledges the need at times to put our spiritual lives in neutral. I know I've found myself in that place - where I can't put my foot on the gas pedal to move forward. Perhaps I'm even tempted to put it in park, shut 'er down and start walking. I love this metaphor, though, and the recognition that neutral is not a bad place to be. I have certainly at times found myself idling in my faith but not for a lack of effort. Yet another of Foster's allures - his willingness to admit that it's not always easy.

Have you ever awakened to a day that you have absolutely no plans and you don't really realize it until that morning? What a gift. That's where I find myself today. A blank slate of a day. It is definitely a gift I look forward to opening; it's a chance to take a deep breath and get some oxygen as we prepare to start the marathon that is the school year. Sometimes neutral is a good place to be - not only in our spiritual lives, but in our constant striving toward productivity.

World Wide Waste-of-time

In case you'd lost hope in the internet's ability to time suck: Have no fear. Please don't click if you have things you actually need to accomplish today.

Rock Throwing

I just got back from the Summer INN and as I indulged in my post-Summer-INN-ritual-bowl-of-cereal, I noticed TiVo's red light was on. "But the Daily Show doesn't start for half an hour..." Aw, how sweet! TiVo had a surprise for me. Driving home, I had thought I would turn on NBC to see Phelps win the medals I already knew he had won even though I would see the highlights a bajillion times. But TiVo had other ideas and it turned out to be Demetri Martin: Person. I turned it on and Demetri was in the middle of his "Large Pad" segment. If you haven't seen it, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Make sure you at least get to the part about rock throwing. If you make it through that and have time for more (in other words, you don't need to go change because you peed your pants), you can listen to him sing. He is what you might call a brilliant comedian. Or at least you should call him such.

I wish I got home this early on Tuesdays during the school year. Luckily, I don't even need to be here for TiVo to know what I like. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a roommate like TiVo?

Speaking of which (or not), I started re-reading Richard Foster's book on prayer today. He literally wrote the book on prayer. And he called it Prayer. I appreciate his simplicity. It's true, I love Foster and this book particularly. (I guess that's obvious since this is a re-read.) Foster has a way of making the lofty and spiritual down-to-earth and obtainable. The concept that most stood out as I read his first offering on "Simple Prayer" was this:
"The only place that God can bless us is right where we are, because that is the only place that we are." This is something I have heard expressed a variety of ways, but really stood out to me this morning. Not only is it important for us not to be waiting for the weekend, for our next job, for "this busy week" to be over, to get married, to have kids, to earn enough, to (insert what will lead to happiness here), but it is actually IMPOSSIBLE to be blessed in any moment outside of this one. For whatever reason, that struck me this morning and reminded me to be "present where I'm present," which is an oft-said Gaffism.

I'm off to be present with my pillow and Patito (the giant stuffed duck who shares my bed). But, if you're looking for more laughs, see if you can't hunt down the Daily Show clip that just aired of correspondent Rob Riggle reporting from China about the food. HILARIOUS.

Moving Day

I moved. Already. Sorry. Remind me to tell you a story about moving sometime.
The New Site

The Nephews are Here! The Nephews are Here!

This is why I'm so excited:



I think it's a zoo day. Hurrah!

Ivan Frakkin' Lendl!

I've found a good purpose for the blog. Ranting about lost trivia nights. Trivia nights are great fun. But they can also be quite anguishing when you ... Oh, I don't know, finish in 3rd place and have about 4 or 5 answers you were [[[this close]]] to getting right. U2's album that went to number one the day after it was released? Joshua Tree (we over-thought that one). The team OJ Simpson played his last game for? San Francisco 49ers. The two words Jim Henson morphed to create the word "muppets"? "Puppet" and "Marionette," of course! (Not "music," after all.) Rickey Henderson played his last game for the Dodgers. Morgan Freeman's name on Driving Miss Daisy was Hoke. The one that really got me, though was, "Who finished 1985, '86, '87, '89 as the number 1 tennis player in the world?" Not that I follow professional tennis and not that I know who finished number 1 any given season, but the fact that I could list every tennis player in the '80s I could think of and not come up with Ivan Lendl... IVAN LENDL! ...just makes me weep for my trivia skills. And sports is the one category I'm supposed to bring something to the table. Fix two of these wrong answers and we're in the money. Instead, we pay the bill for our burgers and go home to try to sleep (and apparently write anguished blog posts).

Blogger's Remorse

I remembered mid-day Saturday that I had started a blog. I wondered how something like that could happen when I was fully conscious of my behavior at the time. What had come over me? I started to feel buyer's remorse instantly and then I remembered that it's all free. I tried to psychoanalyze why I was experiencing said remorse and I realized that I felt pressure. Pressure to be a good writer and pressure to be funny, for sure - but I don't really care that much about what people think of me, do I? The answer is no. I realized the biggest pressure I felt was to write in this durn thing at all. "I already have so many things going on - what was I thinking? I don't have time for a blog..." Which is when I also remembered I don't have to write in this thing at all. Nobody is paying attention anyway. Besides, if they (I guess that would be YOU) do start paying attention and I stop writing in it, I just bought you time that you would have wasted reading my random thoughts about pointless things.

Speaking of which, it feels arrogant to me to think that anybody would take time to read this. That's dangerous to admit because I have so many blogging friends. Don't take that the wrong way - I don't think you're arrogant. Just me. But, I guess you're under no obligation to read this, even if you are my friend (yes, there are a few people out there that would label themselves such). Soooooo... I guess I'll just assume no one ever reads this and call it good. If you choose to spend your time reading about my life and my thoughts, so be it.

This adventure into blogdom partially came about because several people told me, "You should have a blog. I would read it." I have their names written down and I'm going to quiz them on my blog topics. Question #1: What's the name of my blog and why? Answer to part B: The two best 3-word comebacks of all time. You're in an argument and the other person won't stop making sense. You know you've lost. Either line gets you out 100% free from admitting defeat. What are you supposed to say in response to either line? Trust me - try it.

Wait, WHO'S Just Saying?

I can’t believe I’m even contemplating entrance into the world of Blog. I remember when I first heard about this new aspect of the "World Wide Waste-of-time" on CNN of all places. It’s just like CNN to keep me hip with the kids. My first thought at the time was, “Who wants to read the thoughts of random people? Tell me these aren’t random people writing these things…” Well, the past few years, I have found myself reading several blogs with varying regularity and I have discovered that these people aren’t quite as random as I thought. The blogs I read are all people I knew before finding their blogs and now feel like I know so much better.

Truth be told, I may or may not actually know these people better – part of me wonders if once you start writing a blog you don’t take on a veritable ‘blog persona’ … Regardless, my new realization is that blogs can be fun. And I have been wanting to write more. What better excuse than to start a blog? Perhaps I will end up wasting my time doing so. Maybe no one will read it (part of me actually hopes that is true). Regardless, is it any worse than the ways I waste time now – hanging out with my friends So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, Cash Cab, the Colbert Report, or whoever else my best friend TiVo happens to bring to the party each night? I give a lot of advice to people that includes the phrase “What can it hurt to try it?” and tonight I’m going to take my own advice. Besides, I've had a handful of people tell me they would read my blog if I ever started one (if you are one of those people, I won't hold you to it beyond this first post). Who knows? Maybe I’ll come up with some brilliant thoughts that will change the world. Or perhaps (more likely) a decent thought that will change one person's day. Can’t hurt, right? I’m just saying…